Lance & Megan's Blog

The Joy Switch by Chris Coursey

January19

How Your Brain’s Secret Circuit Affects Your Relationships- And How You Can Activate It

Formational book review by Megan

3/5 Stars

“My hope with The Joy Switch book is 1. You learn to recognize whether your relational circuit is working, 2. If not, you know how to use the Joy Switch to turn it back on, and 3. You learn relational habits to sustain the relational circuit so it works at its optimal range.” 

Author Chris Coursey lays out at the beginning his goal in writing the book. A very simple and direct goal, easy to lay out a plan and give direction for the reader. The book is directed at such an important part of our lives, relationships. We can’t avoid it. We have some kind of relationship with our family, spouses, co-workers and store clerks. Coursey says “The areas in our brain that govern character, emotions, and identity are all relational.” So that should make understanding and building/maintaining right relationships a priority, and as the book goes on to say, its hard to stay relational when joy levels drop.

Reading as a Disciple

“Once our relational brain shifts to enemy mode with God, we lose all ability to joyfully interact with another relational being. […] Approaching God when we are in enemy mode is an excellent way to ensure God feels distant because our brain is in the worst possible position for a relational interaction.”

The author Chris Coursey, is a believer and talks about faith and how it relates to joy and relationships throughout the book. I found it interesting when he said “Thinking about pain and hurts is a great way to remain in nonrelational mode with people and with God.”  It is so easy to do, we can replay events and words that hurt us in our minds and we struggle to find God in a situation. Coursey goes on to talk about how to stay relational with God and find His peace in these moments. Just as God instructed the Israelites to put up monuments to his faithfulness, we should also have times of looking back on when we enjoyed God’s presence and faithfulness and when we experienced His peace. Though our circumstances may not change, we will be in a better position to hear from God and accept His peace. 

Reading Communally

“Isolation makes unsuspecting victims more vulnerable.”

Again, this book was not just about us and our own ability to turn our Joy Switch on but also how to help others come back to a place of joy. Community and our connection to the body of Christ is critical. Experiencing negative emotions is normal and inevitable, what the book covers is how to help us return to joy quickly and this also applies to our relationship with others. If we are able to return to a place of joy, then we can help others. We can often get stuck though and struggle to return to joy. “This ‘stuckness’ leads to the loss of abilities we often take for granted, such as the ability to stay loving, kind, thoughtful, caring, considerate, compassionate, and generous. It means the unwelcome appearance of personality distortions like narcissism… Narcissism, the inability to shift out of enemy mode and process shame, robs joy and keeps people stuck in enemy mode.” Those are all things we easily experience on a bad day. This is also where addictions come into place because we are looking for joy substitutes, artificial, nonrelational replacements for comfort. 

The majority of the book is devoted to the habits that Coursey believes will help us return to joy quickly: connection, appreciation, rest and Shalom. 

Final Thoughts

The book is packed with great thoughts and insight into staying relational with others and God. What I enjoyed was the questions and practices offered at the end of each chapter. It’s a great way to keep the book practical and helpful. 

What I don’t like is that the book bordered on providing a cure or step-by-step approach to be joyful. While Coursey mentions very briefly that is not what this book is for, by using the imagery of a switch, he oversimplifies something to just being joyful or not. He mentions “there is a progression with different ‘relational shades’ like colors on a color wheel.” And later he says “the relational circuit is like a dimmer switch with shades of relational mode.” But it is too hard to not get the idea of on/off out of your mind when it’s in the title of the book and there is a big picture of a switch on the cover. This is misleading for the reader. There is no “cure” to doing away with negative emotions and remain in some euphoric state of joy. What Coursey does not go into is how negative emotions are not necessarily a bad evil thing, (Jesus experienced them,) but they are a normal part of being human. God can provide a way for us to navigate those seasons in our lives when the negative emotions seem to outweigh the joy. This book should be seen as only a small step or tool to navigating those seasons, not the cure. 

Other Chris Coursey books

The 4 Habits of Joy-Filled Marriages- we recommend this book!

The 4 Habits of Joy-Filled People

The 4 Habits of Raising Joy-Filled Kids

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Verses for this Time

April5

Since this has been a crazy season for most of the world and the future seems uncertain, we thought it important to be memorizing some of God’s Word, especially on hope.

We challenged our staff to memorize these verses, see if you can get them down in a week.

  1. Jeremiah 29:11- “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”
  2. Isaiah 40:31- but those you hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
  3. Philippians 1:6- being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
  4. Romans 15:13- May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
  5. Romans 8:24-25- For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
  6. Romans 8:28- And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
  7. Psalm 3:2-6- Many are saying of me, “God will not deliver him.” But you, Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high. I call out to the Lord, and he answers me from his holy mountain. I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me. I will not fear though tens of thousands assail me on every side.
  8. Colossians 3:1-2- Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set you minds on things above, not on earthly things.
  9. Isaiah 43:1-2- But now, this is what the Lord says- he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
  10. Psalm 147:11- the Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.
  11. Deuteronomy 31:8- The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
  12. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18- Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs then all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
  13. James 1:2-4- Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
  14. Jeremiah 17:7- “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”
  15. Lamentations 3:22-25- Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;

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Meet Benaiah

March22

There is a new addition to our family! Benaiah Mark Roberts was born December 14 at 14:02 on a lovely sunny Thursday. He of course is the cutest baby ever.

Hours old

Benaiah enjoyed his first Christmas with family.

Meeting Santa Claus

He was introduced to snow for the first time and had his first sledding experience.

Benaiah and his cousin Jethro are only 9 months apart and they started their relationship on the right foot.

Benaiah got to visit the ocean for the first time.

Naturally he experienced his first plane ride on his way to Ukraine. And now he has celebrated his 3 month birthday here in Ternopil!

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Time with family

March22

Lance and I love, I mean LOVE the ocean. Both of our families enjoy being by the ocean so it was perfect to plan a family gathering by the ocean. We made multiple trips to the ocean, first trip was with Lance’s family in Depoe Bay for a weekend together, this has been one of Lance’s family’s favorite spots because it is perfect for watching the waves crash on the rocks.

The ocean has always been a place for Lance and I to relax and rest. We love listening to the ocean, poking at tide pools, watching sunrises and sunsets at the ocean, it is just one of our favorite places.

All together (just missing two kids though!)

Later in January, my family rented a house in Warrenton where we could all be together. We played games, watched The Goonies, went to the beach, visited Cannon Beach and just hung out.

Playing Kubb in the rain

Walking on the beach

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Fall Staff Day

November10

It is crucial that we spend time with our staff to communicate plans and expectations as well as just have fun and pray together. We try to have several days a year that we can set aside for just being together. Two days before Lance and I left, we had our staff day.

We could only squeeze in one day but it was a great day for communicating our plans for the future and to hear from everyone. We communicated our plan of having three months for staff togetherness and that everyone should be ready to participate and be present during that time.

We also wanted to hear from everyone what they thought our base vision was. This might seem simple but we have wanted to rework that for years and just have not felt ready for it so we want to slowly work into it and this was one way to start that process. We gave two teams random objects and asked each team to use the items in describing what they thought the vision was. This gave us some direction and understanding of where everyone was at in regards to the vision. It was fun, simple and informative.

And to end our time, we had a team craft that involved a world map and decoupage. Since our building is still fairly new we are ever so slowly decorating and making it homey. This was one way we could all participate in decorating the base while emphasizing missions. All the kids could join in too and now it is a permanent reminder of our time together.

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