Formational book review by Megan

4/5 stars

“People are slowly dying everywhere,” he said. “They are also continuously living. Every moment they draw breath, they can find the glory I put here on Earth, if they look for it.”

The Stranger in the Lifeboat looks at how the help we pray for may not come in the form we expect or want. When a luxury yacht sinks, a group of people in a lifeboat naturally pray for rescue but are surprised when they pull someone in that claims to be the Lord.

Reading as a Disciple

“I am here Benjamin,” he said. “Whenever you wish to talk.”

            How do I view Christ in the moments when I want help? I know I can so easily fall into the view of God as a vending machine that I come to when I need something and I just have to put in the right “amount” to get what I want. Some may have the same thought as a few characters in the story, “A group of shipwrecked people think they have God in the boat? Why not pin him down? Hold Him accountable for all the horrors He allowed in this world?” The Stranger in the Lifeboat takes a common habit or thought and turns it upside down. Christ is always near waiting for us. It is a simple thought to come to Jesus daily, not for anything specific but simply for conversation, relationship.

The story brought a simple reminder of the relationship that God desires with us and is so easy for us to join in.

Reading Communally

“… what we yearn for most is comfort.”

The story mainly follows two characters, each of whom need rescuing in different forms. The overarching story begs the question, “how do we help others?” How do we as believers, offer help and hope to the people around us? This is sometimes easy to answer but less easy to act upon. How do you help a man like Jarty in the story, an inspector who lost a child years ago and has been distant and lost since? Or someone like Benji, who is bent upon revenge, formed by hatred? It is easy to see someone struggling to carry groceries and think you can “help” them by carrying their load but it is a whole different ball game if help involves those who don’t know they need help or perhaps don’t want your help. Help does not have to come in concrete scheduled forms, as Albom brings to life in the book. Being close to others in their grief and frustration, despair and hatred, is part of living in a fallen world, living in the body of Christ. Being a shoulder to cry on is actually uncomfortable for most people, especially when you don’t know the person well. We want to do something concrete but simply being present in someone’s life is the most help we can offer.

Final Thoughts

“Those moments are a gift. But their end is not a punishment. I am never cruel, Benjamin. I know you before you are born, I know you after you die. My plans for you are not defined by this world. Beginnings and endings are earthly ideas. I go on. And because I go on, you go with me. Feeling loss is part of why you are on Earth. Through it, you appreciate the brief gift of human existence, and you learn to cherish the world I created for you.”

The book was an enjoyable read and kept my attention. It was beautifully laid out and organized in a way that did not give away the story but kept you reading. This could easily be a book club read or at least a book to read with a friend. There is plenty to discuss and compare and contrast. I did not give it 5 stars as the ending got a little muddled and confusing; there was a switch in thinking that had to happen, which took away from the story.

Other Mitch Albom books:

Tuesdays with Morrie

The Little Liar

The Five People You Meet in Heaven

Formational book review by Megan

2/5 stars

“Maybe she has a brother.”
“Right. Sure. How do you know she has a brother?”
“How do you know she doesn’t have a brother?”
“Whatever. She probably doesn’t. Who hugs a brother?”
“I bet you she was just really sad. Maybe the Dud still hasn’t called her.”
“Whatever. Or she’s a slut.”
“How come you don’t like that girl…”
[…]
“Windy, all the girls here are sluts.”
“It’s just that that’s kind of… that’s kind of sexist.”

So first off, I don’t’ recommend this book. The only reason it is not 1 star is for the beautiful artwork. It is truly a story-telling masterpiece but the rest is… less than to be desired. I read it because it was listed as ‘if you liked Everything Sad is Untrue, you will like this book.’ False.

Disclaimer: This story has mature story elements of homosexuality, sex, attempted suicide, and strong language.

It’s set up as a classic coming of age story. Rose and her family go to the beach every summer but this summer is a bit different. Rose and her friend Windy get involved in some local love drama and Rose is juggling her own family drama. How does it all resolve?

**Spoilers below**

Reading as a Disciple

“Its because you always have to have everything YOUR way. You’re making everything sad. I bet you’re still trying to have a baby. Dad doesn’t even want one you know.”
“Rose that’s not-“
“Dad’s happy with just me. You don’t even want to be happy.”

One of the things that I didn’t like about this book was the insensitive dysfunctional relationship between the parents and their daughter Rose. This conversation proves just that. While some may say “that’s what real life is like, its just showing a real relationship between parents and their soon-to-be teenage daughter,” I don’t believe we need to have more examples of a dysfunctional family, we need stories that show hope for something more. This story leaves one feeling empty and hopeless. While there were many conversations, where I just wanted to say, “talk about it!” “tell her what happened!,” it was easy to see the shame that pervaded their lives and prevented honest conversations. Shame was a dark cloud over the family’s beach vacation that went on into their everyday lives. You feel the tension in Rose as she doesn’t understand and avoids hearing more from her parents. It is painful to see that her confusion and misunderstanding comes out in anger toward her mom and the girl Jenny. Her emotions are misplaced and jumbled up, it is important to keep in mind that God does not shy away from messy emotions and dysfunctional relationships. The Bible clearly shows many dysfunctional families being used for great things.

Reading Communally

“Who’s a slut?’
“No one!”
“Bit strange calling someone you don’t even know a slut.”
“Oh, well, these guys who knew these girls were calling them sluts.”
“Well, how is that okay?”

The story is clear that parenting needs to happen but because Rose’s parents are struggling in their own relationship; they’ve forgotten to care for their daughter. Rose’s mom declares, “I’m a zombie. I have these crazy thoughts. Like, I wish. I wish I was a little kid. So I could just scream and be mad. Its terrible to say, but I wish I could just… disappear.” She’s absent at a critical time in her daughter’s life. Everyone experiences times where they just want to disappear, be like Homer Simpson and melt into the hedge. But life continues on. Thinking communally, we need to be able to help those that are struggling. To come alongside and not be afraid of the cloud of shame that may hang over a person.

Windy was a good friend and was able to communicate to Rose several things but unfortunately, Rose didn’t handle the confrontation well. We need good friends to act as dissenting voices in our lives, people who will speak truth in love, even when we don’t respond in love. Especially as kids are turning into adults, they need someone to love them through their questions and offer gentle course correction.

Final Thoughts

The most frustrating part of this book is that nothing is resolved, there was no hope at the end. Usually a coming of age story includes a lesson that was learned, the protagonist is confronted with their ignorance and manages to gather their self-revelation into a new understanding of life and who they are. That doesn’t happen here. Rose never learns why her mom is emotionally absent and doesn’t want to swim, her and Windy never really make up, and Rose still holds her beliefs about Jenny to be true. The story ends there with Rose simply learning to stuff her emotions, not trust her parents and to drown her sorrows and confusion in R-rated movies. The organization of the story was brilliant though, so many parallels between the Jenny girl and Rose’s mom, the R-rated movies and the story of their lives, it was genius, just terrible content. There are better books out there.  

Other books:

I can’t recommend any books by the Tamaki cousins. Based on reading reviews and book overviews, they are full of similar themes.

Formational Book Review by Megan

5/5 stars

“How can you explain why you believe anything? So I just say what my mom says when people ask her. She looks them in the eye with the begging hope that they’ll hear her and she says, ‘because it’s true.’

            Why else would she believe it?

            It’s true and it’s more valuable than seven million dollars in gold coins, and thousands of acres of Persian countryside, and ten years of education to get a medical degree, and all your family, and a home, and the best cream puffs of Jolfa, and even maybe your life.

            My mom wouldn’t have made the trade otherwise.

            If you believe it’s true, that there is a God and He wants you to believe in Him and He sent His Son to die for you- then it has to take over your life. It has to be worth more than everything else, because heaven’s waiting on the other side.”

Everything Sad is Untrue is a beautiful story of an Iranian family that fled to Oklahoma. The story is told in the style of 1001 Arabian Nights and from the perspective of the author as a twelve-year-old boy. Nayeri weaves the story from his great-grandparents to himself, into one tale of strength and belonging.

Reading as a Disciple

“There are gods all over the world who just want you to express yourself. Look inside and find whatever you think you are and that’s all it takes to be good. And there are gods who are so alien to us, with minds so clear, the only thing to do would be to sit at their feet and wait for them to speak, to tell us what is good.

A god who listens is love.

A god who speaks is law.

[…]

Love is empty without justice.

Justice is cruel without love.”

Mercy and justice are two topics that can actually be divisive. It’s been on personality tests, “which is more important, mercy or justice?” as if you can only show one or the other but not a mix. Americans tend to be more focused on justice, what is right or wrong. It is not always so easy though. God is the perfect mix; he shows perfect justice and absolute love. Nayeri writes of how this is blended and brings it all together with “I think He’s a God who listens as if we are his most important children, and I think He speaks to tell us so.” When we have experienced an injustice, we want justice. When we have experienced hate, we need love. God sees the big picture and knows the best timing for what we want and who needs what.

“Why should anybody live with their head down? Besides, the only way to stop believing something is to deny it yourself. To hide it. To act as if it hasn’t changed your life.” God’s love has changed our lives because he showed us mercy when he should have shown us justice. It is good to read a story of persecution to be reminded of the price that has been paid. “She wanted everybody to have what she had, to be free, to realize that in other religions you have rules and codes and obligations to follow to earn good things, but all you had to do with Jesus was believe he was the one who died for you.” Such a great summary of the Gospel and simple reminder to readers of what our faith is all about.

Reading Communally

            “A patchwork memory is the shame of a refugee.”

Refugees are also another difficult topic for Americans to address. This book was full of evidence of that, believers and unbelievers alike. How can we welcome the foreigner? Everything Sad is Untrue has many stories of how Nayeri’s family endured the switch to living in the states, unfortunately, so many stories of how they were not welcomed. Empathy may never be achieved but we can still show sympathy for those that are in a new land, different from their own, having to relearn simple tasks such as grocery shopping and even using a toilet.

“Sometimes when you’re a refugee, you have to give up the dignity you’d have if you said, ‘you know what, thank you, but no thank you. Your son treats my son like a dog, and your daughter says, ‘ew,’ if we get near her, and we appreciate how smiley you are, but we’ll figure out some other way to attend school.”

As believers, we shouldn’t force newcomers to give up their dignity but instead treat each person we meet with dignity and respect. Each individual holds intrinsic value because they are imago dei, the image of God. Everything Sad is Untrue tells many stories of how some people may perceive something but actually there is so much more going on. We do not know the whole story for each person we meet. We must rely on God to fill in the gaps of knowledge between us and give grace to each other. As Episcopal priest Timothy Jones wrote in an article for Rabbit Room, “we are persons made to flourish through the affection and presence of others.” We are not meant to be alone.

Final Thoughts

            I loved this book because, while I am most definitely not a refugee, I sometimes feel like a foreigner in my native land and can identify with some of the sentiment expressed by Nayeri. We have taught our kids what imago Dei means and work to instill in them that each person is made in the image of God and therefore their life is valuable. This lesson becomes real when we meet someone different from us; refugees are an easy example. This book was refreshing in not only how it was written but also the story of hope and resilience.

Also by Daniel Nayeri:

The Many Assassinations of Samir, Seller of Dreams

Other books on refugees:

Somalia- When Stars Are Scattered by Omar Mohamed

“In a refugee camp, you are always reminded of the things you have lost. It is a valiant and agonizing struggle to focus not on what you have lost… but on what you have been given.”

Vietnam- Inside Out and Back Again by Thanha Lai

Syria- Nowhere Boy by Katherine Marsh

*Have not read any of these books… yet. (Two are on my bedside table)

(Update: Finished When Stars Are Scattered June 17)

(Update: Finished Inside Out and Back Again July 4)

Book #1 of The Wilderking Trilogy

Formational Book Review by Megan

4/5 stars

The Bark of the Bog Owl (TBOTBO) is a retelling of the story of David with a southern flair. The story follows Aidan Errolson, the youngest of 5 boys, who is relegated to watching the sheep in far off pastures. He longs for a courageous and adventurous life but the most adventure he gets is fighting off a panther with his sling. That is until the Pyrthen Empire lands on their shores. If you know the story of young David (I Samuel 16 & 17) than you will know the gist of this story. There are some twists and creative license is taken as should be expected.

Reading as a Disciple

“But I don’t feel like the Wilderking.”

“How is a Wilderking supposed to feel?” asked the prophet.

“I don’t know. I don’t suppose anybody knows. There’s never been a Wilderking before.”

“Precisely. None but you can say how a Wilderking feels. You are the only one.” He poked a finger into Aidan’s chest for emphasis. “And you don’t have to feel anything in particular.”

Bayard leaned toward Aidan. “Let me tell you a secret, Aidan.” He looked over his shoulder as if making sure no one was listening, then whispered, “I don’t usually feel like a prophet.”

We are often driven by how or what we feel in the moment. It is easy to do; sometimes we give in to our feelings (I make an extra batch of cookies because I feel like it,) sometimes we don’t have a choice (I’m still a mom whether I feel like being one) and other times we just don’t (I decline an extra helping of dessert even though I do want more.) Feelings are used to make decisions big and small. This exchange in The Bark of the Bog Owl, is a beautiful lesson in not making decisions based solely on how we feel. We don’t need to feel something special to do something great or small, we need to be obedient with what is in front of us. This same conversation continues later,

“What if I am destined to be the Wilderking? How should I live?”

“The same way you should live if you weren’t the Wilderking. Live the life that unfolds before you. Love goodness more than you fear evil.”

The same can be said of believers, to live the life that God has put before you. Love goodness in your workplace, in your school, in your home. In this era, where we can be pushed to pick a side, it is easy to forget it is more important to love goodness more than what we fear. By loving goodness around us, we can point others to a good God who loves us. But… loving goodness is a choice and we often won’t feel like it.

Reading Communally

“The doubt, actually was easier than belief.”

Just as loving goodness is a choice, so also is belief in the face of doubt. Doubt can be easier because it leaves room to settle for failure; it leaves room to save face if your belief turns out to be false. Hesitation, uncertainty, confusion, indecision are all synonyms for doubt, none are ones we want to be used to describe us. Doubt comes more easily when faced with discouragement and questions from those that are older and more experienced than us. Rogers does a great job of showing the brothers’ doubt and anger at their insolent brother desiring to do what is right. Our doubt and unbelief can have a huge ripple effect for others around us. The Bible gives many examples of doubt changing a community, look at the Israelites, doubt led to a golden calf being built! By Aidan choosing belief, he was able to rally the Corenwalders from their stupor.

The longing to belong can give way to peer pressure. Not only can it be difficult to stand alone when everyone around you doubts, it is hard to stand out and be confident. In TBOTBO, the Corenwalders want to impress the Pyrthens and be accepted by them; but instead “the Corenwalders’ attempts at imitation seem all the more clownish.” How easy it is to lose our sense of belonging and identity. The story continues to address the identity of the Corenwalders as a nation and their struggle to keep it.

Final Thoughts

Overall I enjoyed the book despite already knowing the general storyline. It was mostly predictable but there were a few surprises thrown in. It will be interesting to see in the other books, how Rogers tells the story of David and at what point the trilogy ends. The Bark of the Bog Owl is a great read aloud for families and provides plenty of conversation starters.

Other Jonathan Rogers books:

The Wilderking Trilogy

The World According to Narnia

The Charlatan’s Boy

The Terrible Speed of Mercy

Formational Book Review by Lance

5/5 stars

“To follow Jesus is to become his apprentice. It’s to organize your entire life around three driving goals:

1. Be with Jesus.
2. Become like him.
3. Do as he did.

Apprenticeship to Jesus—that is, following Jesus—is a whole-life process of being with Jesus for the purpose of becoming like him and carrying on his work in the world. It’s a lifelong journey in which we gradually learn to say and do the kinds of things Jesus said and did as we apprentice under him in every facet of our lives.”

“Practicing The Way” is less of a book and more of an introduction to John Mark Comer’s new program called, you guessed it, “Practicing The Way”. Though, I do have to say, it is also a really good book.  In general, I am a pretty big fan of Comer’s books and framework around the Christian life. I am drawn to the contemplative nature of the way he encourages us to practice our apprenticeship to Jesus.  In the world today, we have so many people, things and causes drawing our affection and dedication. There are so many distractions it is hard to know how to move forward with a sincere Christlike lifestyle. In this book John Mark introduces us to a way or “rule of life” for this day and age to be a disciple of Christ by being with Jesus, becoming like him and doing as He did.

Reading as a Disciple:

“The question is not, Am I becoming a person? It’s, Who or what am I becoming?”

“Christlikeness is possible, but it’s not natural. In fact, the gravity and inertia of life will likely take you in the opposite direction. “Small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it,” as Jesus said.  Put another way, there are no accidental saints.”

I know I am a child of God.  But sometimes I do not look or act like a Christian. I often think that just reading the Bible, going to church or being a missionary somehow forms me into a person that exudes Jesus in any situation… Sadly, this just not the case. I love that Comer frames this all with a question. Am I a Christian, or an apprentice of Christ?  To be a Christian is to do what Christians do. To be an apprentice, however, is to abide with the Master, emulate what I observe Him do and obey what the He asks me to do. 

Comer argues that we all “make our home (abide) somewhere, the question is ‘where?’” I have seen myself “rooted in the infinite scroll of social media” and from it have been “angry, anxious, arrogant, simplistic, and distracted.” My willpower seems to have no power to actually do much against this very real force of “abiding” in things other than Christ. So, if I cannot, from my own willpower, combat this current barrage of other things that ask for my undivided loyalty and sacrifice, how do I live a life of a disciple in this current age? How do I stay an apprentice while getting woken up in the middle of the night by a crying baby, or reading another devastating article about more people dying in Ukraine or navigate yet another difficult relationship in the body of Christ?

I think Comer may be on to something… Just do the things Jesus did, while being content in a relationship with God where “I look at Him, He looks at me, and we are happy.” I so want that kind of acceptance and response to God. Most of my Christian life has been doing the right things for God because I have to.  But I am hoping my perspective is shifting to wanting to be like Jesus simply because it is the most loving and fulfilling way to live. Right now though, I am taking tiny steps toward this. Discipleship is a whole lot slower than we all want.

Reading Pastorally:

“For those of us who desire to follow Jesus, here is the reality we must turn and face: If we’re not being intentionally formed by Jesus himself, then it’s highly likely we are being unintentionally formed by someone or something else.”

“If “they” (whether multinational corporations, politicians, anti-democratic government agents, marketing departments, influencers who just want more followers, etc., etc.) can make us believe that each person is a blank slate, just following the inner compass of our “authentic self” in an upward march to happiness, then they can keep us blind to all the ways we’ve been “discipled”—formed and manipulated—by their desires.”

It is hard to keep a pure heart.  It is harder to shift ourselves away from things that we “like” and “want” that are actually doing us harm. It is actually even harder to identify what is even causing us harm. I have found, just telling someone who is constantly on their phone (which I have been known to do sometimes) to put their phone down does very little to bring an “aha” moment of their dependance. However, when I have seen people take a fast from social media, or actually rest one whole 24 hour period, tensions in their mind, emotions and body emerge. This tension emphasizes our living outside of God’s design for our human life and work. That is something way more than just knowledge will accomplish. That is a practice (or discipline), in apprenticeship to Jesus, working against our unhealthy coping strategies that “deform” us.

“The life of the Christian faith is the practice of many practices.”

I think there is something to, in the light of being loved by God and learning to love him back, a framework of consistent practices. The difficulty is that it is not easy (it may be impossible) to do on our own. So the challenge, I think, is to actually do this in community. And I love Comer says that, “love is the metric of spiritual maturity, not discipline.”  This is an important part of having a “rule of life.” It is not for perfection, but for love.

Other thoughts:

Why do I love Christian formation?  This style and emphasis in Christian living has been a solid rock for me these past 6 years. I remember the first time I was challenged to “ruthlessly eliminate hurry” (another book by Comer) from my life. It was then I started a very simple practice, driving the speed limit.  I was shocked to see my anxiety start to lift, my attitude to other drivers become more gracious and in general I became more peaceful… until I came back to the states and drove in the Seattle area… I increased my speed by 4 above the speed limit for my family’s safety… It was also the same time I started to have to initiate “The practice of being misunderstood.”  It is amazing how many people assumed I was just was trying to be a jerk by controlling the speed of others. I promise, I was not…  But I found that as I initiated a regular practice into my life, I was exposed to my inner life like I was not aware of before. And, in turn, I was able to love others better.

More about Practicing the Way at:

 www.practicingtheway.org

Other John Mark Comer Books:

• Live No Lies: Recognize and Resist the Three Enemies that Sabotage Your Peace
• The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry

Other Spiritual Formation Books:

• Dwell: Life with God for the World- Barry D. Jones
• The Life You’ve Always Wanted: Spiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People- John Ortberg
• Streams of Living Water: Celebrating the Great Traditions of Christhian Faith- Patrick Foster
• The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation- Wilder and Hendricks